Luke and Caden are best buds. They get each other. I love to watch them as they play, relate, and interact together. It makes me happy.
And then there is Porter. He has it hard. He is often left out. He is not at the maturity level yet to play as the bigger boys play. He is aggressive and likes to destroy rather than build. And he's two. So, he is frequently pushed away. And I get it. Porter throws things, pushes, and wrecks anything and everything his brothers are working on...for starters. I feel for the big boys who are always defending their territory from Porter's destruction.
Oh, but I feel for Porter more. As hard as he is to get along with right now (even for me sometimes) I ache when I see him repeatedly left out. He wants so badly to play with his older brothers. To be accepted by them. And I am sad when he is not. We have tried to impress upon Luke and Caden the importance of including Porter in what they are doing. They do try, but that acceptance of him is short lived as he can't help but behave like the two year old that he is.
Enter...Ryland.
Porter has been drawn to Ryland from the beginning. Ryland is the only one in the household that Porter is consistently nice to (other than a brief naughty stint in the early weeks of adjustment). In fact, he is rarely not nice to him. He is still aggressive...so his love can be a bit rough sometimes, but it is not intentional. As David and I have witnessed the dynamics in our household, we have started telling Porter that Ryland is going to grow up to be his buddy. And he gets it. He now spends more time than ever with Ryland. He seeks him out. He talks so sweet to him...often in an almost whisper. I didn't know Porter had a volume other than LOUD. At Ryland's last doctor's appointment, Porter became the comforter/protector whenever the doctor or nurse did something he thought would be upsetting to Ryland...like the tongue depressor in the mouth and, of course, the shots. He talked so gently to him and told him "it's okay" and held his hand during the immunizations. It has been fun to watch and I have been PRAYING that we are right and that these two really will buddies!
Oh, but I feel for Porter more. As hard as he is to get along with right now (even for me sometimes) I ache when I see him repeatedly left out. He wants so badly to play with his older brothers. To be accepted by them. And I am sad when he is not. We have tried to impress upon Luke and Caden the importance of including Porter in what they are doing. They do try, but that acceptance of him is short lived as he can't help but behave like the two year old that he is.
Enter...Ryland.
Porter has been drawn to Ryland from the beginning. Ryland is the only one in the household that Porter is consistently nice to (other than a brief naughty stint in the early weeks of adjustment). In fact, he is rarely not nice to him. He is still aggressive...so his love can be a bit rough sometimes, but it is not intentional. As David and I have witnessed the dynamics in our household, we have started telling Porter that Ryland is going to grow up to be his buddy. And he gets it. He now spends more time than ever with Ryland. He seeks him out. He talks so sweet to him...often in an almost whisper. I didn't know Porter had a volume other than LOUD. At Ryland's last doctor's appointment, Porter became the comforter/protector whenever the doctor or nurse did something he thought would be upsetting to Ryland...like the tongue depressor in the mouth and, of course, the shots. He talked so gently to him and told him "it's okay" and held his hand during the immunizations. It has been fun to watch and I have been PRAYING that we are right and that these two really will buddies!
Now that's a lot of love!
A result of all this love is that I often have to rescue the little guy. He can only take so much!
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